Total burnout

Yesterday I had the opportunity to chat with someone about the topic "burnout". To make it clear: this is no modern word for not being motivated enough, and it's no way an excuse for simply being exhausted. This is very important as it means a lot regarding the whole life.

This wasn't the first time I talked about suffering a "burnout". Some years ago - I was playing Everquest 1 - our best rogue who not only played a lot and well, too, suddenly finished playing from one day to the other. No announcement, nothing. Later I met him, asking him what happened as we all were worried what happened (in Everquest 1 the guild was far more than a family only as it was crucial to have a group, a good group). The answer was: He was at hospital, because of a burnout.

He said that there were some symptoms before he simply ignored: The light feeling of being exhausted (which he could negate very well by simply ignoring it), the lack of motivation regarding everything else, the feeling of having to do something - against all inner odds. And the little voice asking him why he should go on doing what he's doing - and where the heck was the sense behind everything. He continued to play, driven by a obsessive behavior. The end was: Someday he had problems to leave his house, going to work, even to play.

This is the point where you already overstepped the frontier from being able to stop it. This is a very deep issue, nothing which can simply be stopped by saying "Oh, good, let me change game" or "hey, take a break" or "take it easy". It won't work, as those mechanism would have been better used much time before. Now it's too late, the lack of motivation has won and this is really evil. Because from now on it has _nothing_ to do anymore with a special thing - which led to the burnout - alone. Everything is now "senseless".

The line between why we should do what we do and why not is very thin. In short: If you're not able to find a proper solution nobody can give you a plausible answer. Yes, family needs one; yes, friends need one - but this is again what I call the "should-problem" - the imperative that led to the burnout itself.
So the answer is not a "should", but a "could" or "would": What often helps is to be more egoistic. Think about yourself, take your time. If you stop by a flower because you'd like to watch it for twenty minutes: do it.  If you want to paint: paint - no matter if you're talented or not (abstract art is what you want it to be).

One of the most interesting persons I ever met was a guy telling me that he lost a lot of stress because during dialogues he simply stopped talking and begun to listen what the other had to say (instead of waiting for the opportunity to talk again). Honestly: It works. Everyone has to tell his own story, so the more you listen the more friends you'll get.
Or the other way around: If you have the feeling to talk, talk. If you've got the opportunity to find someone who listens carefully he might show you new paths or simply help you to clear your path by not talking and just listening. This could be a friend, this could be your dog or just your shadow. Or the shadow of someone else.

I do not have any solutions for burnouts, honestly. But the answer is hidden behind small steps. And those little steps are the one who will help as they helped the mate I talked about. As far as I know he never played Everquest again - I miss him, for sure. But it makes me happy to know that he is out there, smiling again and having the life he wants to. Because a burnout is the best chance for a "life reboot" - be thankful.